#like im Having so many thoughts but i literally cant write them in words that do this album justice so. go insane w all the themes w me

[thekidsarentalright]

so much (for) stardust x 'dreams'

[cherryzlem]

My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

[the-s1lly-corner]

If you could indulge me, can I ask for something with The Amazing Digital Circus gang, with an s/o who is seen as an anchor for the others? They are strong willed, happy go lucky, supportive, a mediator and ect. Well, could they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode, just crying in frustration and like punching a wall to calm down and go back to acting like nothing happened?

I have a thing with strong willed characters hiding their weakness for the benefit of others.

TADC cast x emotional anchor!reader !

oh ho ho you silly lil fella, you have literally just described my TADC oc down to a T, i am going to have so much fun writing this because im literally just. going to use my oc as a place holder for the reader, just without describing any lore bits unique to them and their design ngl i think i went insane with this one, tally hall music is doing something to me

CAINE:

if you thought you were good at hiding your human despair just know that caine already knows. the only reason i feel he wouldnt initially come to you in your lesser moments of weakness is that he can acknowledge that youre trying to hide this part of you. does he go comfort you, and risk making you try harder to surpress your feelings; risking you to just blow up one day and have your mental state just totally collapse in one go? would you feel put off at the knowledge that in this world you never really have full privacy? that definitely wouldnt make you feel any better. but when it gets to the point where you're screaming and crying in your room and punching the walls he would step in. drags you away from the walls, and if he has to this man will restrain you if it means making sure you stop swinging. hes seen the downfall of many people within the circus, but seeing it from someone he so deeply cares for hits a different way. he may be an AI, but he can still simulate feeling. its a harrowing sensation as he lets you cling onto him. i think he makes an effort to make in house adventures less overwhelming and intense, too scared to push you over the edge but also too scared to leave you with nothing to do to distract you. i think he would stay with you for the night, too

POMNI:

as selfish as it sounds, pomni cant help but feel.. something in her chest. seeing you, the groups beacon of light falter fills her with some kind of fear and despair that she cant put into words. it reminds her that no one is above helplessness, and that at the end of the day youre just as capable of abstracting as everyone else. i think, when she finally sees your fake demeanor finally slip when you thought you were totally alone, she feels bad. i mean shes your partner, and she didnt pick up on any hints that may have indicated your true state of health. i dont think she would try to force you to speak, as much as i want to say that she would try to push for you to talk about how you feel i think her attempts to reach out to you would fall on deaf ears. i think she would put her hand on your shoulder, making you jump back to the present moment. its an awkward gesture, with the jester herself being a little lost with these new feelings... i think you two would just sit in silence

JAX:

similar to pomni, he feels this intense and unexplainable pang at the sight of the most hopeful and brightest person in the circus crumble. ive already said it but ill say it again, its like being splashed with cold water, with how hard that sinking cold feeling hits him. makes half hearted attempts to cheer you up. its not that he doesnt care, its that hes stuck in the shock of seeing the happiest person he knows flip into... this.. for a split second he thought you were abstracting, that pit his stomach becoming colder for a second before he realizes whats going on. ive said this before as well, but jax is not the best comforter, in fact i think he might be one of the worst out of the main cast. but i think so far for the characters ive written for this post, he makes an effort to try to pull you up out of your hole. at least he lets you cry your feelings out, and he wont make you feel bad for doing so

RAGATHA:

stands there in shock like pomni, before immediately rushing to your side and tugging you away from a coat stand you were kicking and beating. hands on your shoulders she tries to snap you back to the present moment, trying to tell you that shes here. any feelings of the helplessness that she shares with the previous two characters is shoved down. this isnt about her, its about you. runs her fingers through your hair, if your digital body has any, and just. rocks you. when you finally calm down enough to be able to form clear words, she reassures you once more that shes here for you. the two of you stay in that position, holding onto one another for the entire night. i think it should be said, but for most of these theyre going to try to keep a closer eye on you and make it a point to ask you how youre feeling. ragatha especially.

KINGER:

it reminds him of queenie. the sight brings back so so so many terrible memories. for a second he doesnt even register that hes standing in the present, standing in your doorway. stuck and frozen for a solid minute before you finally notice him, and you hold each others gaze. finally, you crumble. what was the point of hiding your mounting anguish now that it was discovered by the one you care for most? at the sight of your crumpled form i think kinger would snap back, and rush to your side. he's pause, afraid that you would abstract like the queen, before forcing himself to push through that fear in the back of his mind. a moment where he is not fumbling with himself or shaking; be it because he wants to be there for you or perhaps he still holds some guilt aimed towards himself for not being able to save his old queen, he refuses to leave your side even if you tell him to leave. theres this caution in his actions, mixed with this sort of determination to make sure you're okay. like ragatha, he would make it a point to make sure you're okay long after this incident

ZOOBLE:

zooble would probably be the only one who doesnt make their presence known to you while you're in that state. not because they wont care about you, in fact they care about you a lot. but theyre so unsure of what to do, that they give to you what they would have wanted for themselves, if they were in your shoes. they want to grant you privacy, and to at least keep a shred of the now ruined façade you had been putting on for everyone. if it means keeping it will give you comfort, then they wont take that away from you. they wait outside your door, waiting for the height of your episode to pass before cracking the door open. they dont say anything about what they had just heard, but you seem to know that they know.. i mean they came in so soon after you had calmed yourself down enough.

"are you okay?" a dumb question, but what else was there for them to say? you so obviously werent okay, and you likely werent for a long time. they offer to leave, to give you some time to pick yourself back up, but they also make it clear that they wont go anywhere if you dont want to be alone. the night is tense and awkward, filled with conversation before they eventually broach the topic... i think you guys would develop some sort of secret code. i mean youve been hiding your true feelings for so long, and outwardly saying you need help would compromise that mask you put up for yourself. be it a certain sentence or arrangement of objects, you two come up with a indirect way of asking for security

GANGLE:

she feels so helpless, the most out of everyone. she tries to get your attention, but her words fall on deaf ears, if they even manage to pry themselves out of her mouth. far too weak to pull you away and keep you from hurting yourself, but too soft spoken to bark out a word to draw your attention to her. truly, she feels useless. she isnt able to capture your attention until you finally notice her. similar to kingers part, you fall. she takes an unsure step towards you, hands half raised in front of her as she debates if you want to be touched or not. she settles to sitting in front of you, just barely holding eye contact... she looks down when you tear your eyes away from her. finally finding her voice, i think she would ask if you want her to stay, or if you need anything. she tries to word it the best she can, but she lets you know that she doesnt think any less of you for your outburst. it happens to the best of us, really it does. if you want her too, she wraps herself around you and tries to soothe your shaking form

[o-sunny-day]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS EPISODE 4 DISCUSSION NOTES!!!!

TALK TO ME ABOUT THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!!! IM BEGGING YOU!!!!

Spoilers ahead :D so many spoilers :D

IVE GOT THOUGHTS!!! That can most conveniently be organized in sections of character analysis… Some Jax and Ragatha are in there too but these are the MAIN ones I have the most thoughts on/thoughts that revolve around them but still include other characters. LETS GO!!!

CAINE!

Allow me to indulge in my PERSONAL favorite thing first before being more general- im getting these out of the way first cause theyre less THIS EPISODE and more how this episode adds to the rest of his character and omg i love him sm….

I loved when Zooble and Jax talked about Caine. I love when Caine specifically is talked about. Cause like- people's opinions of him. I care about a lot. itll ALWAYS be interesting, cause hes THE GUY. THE MAN. THE DUDE THAT PUTS THEM THROUGH ALL THE SHIT THEY HATE AND MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE “REAL” FEELINGS. He’s a really unsuspecting goofy character at a glance who (telling from ep 3) like actually KINDA cares?? Cant tell if it’s for more selfish reasons or what, but he’s clearly PROGRAMMED to care about his guests, so he does.

And some people (zooble) are kinda SCARED OF HIM and FOR GOOD REASON???? Like yeah no shit, Jax. Caine has the power to do ANYTHING including killing you…torturing you for all eternity. fun stuff like that!

But he won't! cause hes not programmed for that. So he wont.

Also side note: Caine said in the last episode “Zooble! look at this cool bee I drew!” and on his desk he just has a shitton doodles of bees. This is all he does in his free time.

Second more important side note: Caine glitching out at the end feels important, but also feels like just a comedic moment. and idk what to make of that. LOCKING IT IN MY HEAD EITHER WAY CAUSE IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD ON THE FIRST VIEWING SO MUCH 😭

LAST THOUGHT: I would LOVE for him to gain sentience cause I have a sneaking suspicion he doesn’t right now telling from how he’s literally PART of the circus they’re in… HM… Cause telling from Gummigoo it IS POSSIBLE for AI to gain sentience…. Foreshadowing perchance… OH YEAH, GUMMIGOO!!!

GUMMIGOO!

HE TOTALLY RECOGNIZED POMNI AROUND THE END OF THEIR INTERACTION. his face changed when she said that none of this is real in front of him, HE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS. but they also understand Caine wont let him stay. Kinda like a Sans (kill me) moment of “ik none of this matters, but since it wont last, I’ll at least be happy doing it!”

Something I love about the writing also…This being a very rushed adventure that Caine didn't get to spend a lot of time on explains WHYYYYY GUMMIGOO IS IN THIS. LIKE THIS WASN’T JUST FOR THE PLOT IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE???? all of the NPCs in it are unfinished or redos. He didn't have time to make new ones. ***I JUST LOVE THAT THAT'S SO SMART***

GANGLE.

i'm obsessed

Her taking off that smile mask and actually smiling with her real face KILLED ME. shes learning to be her authentic self and I love it

Jax constantly breaking her happy mask, making her reveal her true sad face feels like the equivalent of bullying the quiet kid like- she's always just pretending to be happy/okay, but then him harassing her makes her “break character “ (EH??? EH??? BREAK??????? CHARACTER????????? MASK?????????WHAT??????)

But Gangle going crazy I think is a sortaaaa “metaphor” (there's a better word but I cant think of it) for how pretending to be someone your not can make you the person you hate. Like she was kinda abusive in this episode… People who are awful people were all victims once, technically- not ALL ofc cause nothing is black and white n all that, but you get me-

IN GENERAL…

i think the motif of this episode was pretending to be someone you're not, for whatever reason you have. Not just for Gangle! For Jax, its to entertain himself, keep em sane. And for Gangle, its for everyone else. But for RAGATHA…I feel its both. She wants to feel useful/helpful for herself for selfish reasons BUT she also just wants to be useful/helpful for everyone else for kind, caring reasons. I already got that vibe before this episode, but Gangle talking about how she cant tell when Ragatha is being genuine or not makes me very confident this is the case

I thought Gangle was gonna abstract in that last bit of the episode, and im like 99% sure that was intentional. I love that a lot… I love how this show is written, abstracting was introduced right away, so now its a looming threat across all these characters youve grown to love, appreciate, and relate too

Idk what Gangle getting hit by the truck was a reference to, but part of my brain rot theorizing in me wants to say this digital world is basically Hell and thats how she “died” before getting here. Doesnt make any godamn sense and the truck thing totally has other explainations I JUST CANT THINK OF ANY!!! PUTTEM IN THE COMMENTS BELOW AND DONT FORGET TO HIT THAT BEL- *gets shot*

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIES

["Trust me, Lib," I said, picturing her lips. "In a crowd of million ski masks, I'd still be able to find you."]

| ✮ 3 stars |

ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ arc review thank you to netgalley + simon and schuster for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [minor spoilers]

ok. i put this review off for a couple days cause i knew this was gonna be harder to write because i love lynn painter books, really. buuttt i was horribly disappointed with this one. i'm the biggest wesliz fan but... like yeah i cant even form coherent thoughts about it. like this was unnecessary there was no point in shattering their relationship to write this.

like it was good to see wes's pov and everything but it felt so... idk yeah. (see im still struggling so bad to find words.)

one thing i would formally like to invite lynn to STOP doing though is shoving every taylor/ pop culture reference on the planet into the book. like holy shit woman. i few is okay BUT NOT THAT MANY COME ON!!!! they were in the middle of a fucking argument and wes is quoting illicit affairs or some bullshit. usually i love finding little references on page but this felt like too much.

i feel like she's whipped out her computer and gone straight to some dog fanpage or just plainly scrolled through edits seeing people saying "this song is so wesliz coded" and shoved those songs into the book. there is an on page reference to in between reference saying its their montage song.

also um this shit: ”little liz can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. because she’s dead.” and somehow when jack antonoff was randomly brought up??? like some people are good at weaving taylor swift lyrics into books. lynn you are not.

also lynn take this a plea to never use the word "growl" or "growled" in a sentence ever again when describing your male characters. and to never write this sentence “she’s one of the guys you know? she’s just… different,” EVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

WHAT I DID LIKE THO WAS THE TINY TINY CRUMBS OF BAILEYCHARLIE AND NICKEMELIE (even tho nick was only mentioned and i dont think emelie was even there but eh)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

liz - ok so weirdly enough she was the most tolerable and still intolerable at the same time. like she was so different from the liz in bttm the sunshiney, wearing dresses of all different colours and her love of romcoms. she was described as anti-love and was practically a full on different character seriously. if you liked the first book maybe dont have high expectations for nltm. like i do understand she had her heart broken and so obviously that makes sense for some of the change but it had been two years and as liz likes to say SO FUCKING MUCH "she's moved on, she's moved past it, its in the past" well for someone who's moved on you sure like to avoid the past a lot. also idk who tf she was trying to fool with that whole "i don't like wes, im over him." shit like gurl- you were literally kissing 2.5 seconds ago whats with the switching sides. and there was SO much about her leaving "little liz" behind. like what was so wrong with liking flowers and romcoms? and being a hopeless romantic and wearing bright colours?

wes - okay so it was quiet heartbreaking to hear abt wes's side of this book (except for the whole pursuing liz part) and i did feel sorry for him. but like what happened to the sweet, caring wes in the first book. and tell me why i had to read THIS sentence “climb on me like a good girl,” LIKE MY EYES LYNN WTF????? i did not sign up for this wes, like no stop telling me how obsessed you are with liz's lips or how she's a mythological sex goddess- boy sit ur ass down. and don't even get me started on the beginning of the book. WHAT WAS THAT SHIT? why was wes acting like a 7yr old excited for school and talking (so much) abt his love for scootering? SCOOTERING. LYNN PAINTER WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? SCOOTERING. DO YOU HAVE SOME OBSESSION WITH THEM OR SOMETHING? WHY DID THOSE DUMB THINGS KEEP SHOWING UP?? like tell me why i needed to read this shit: "i fucking loved the scooters ..... wes + scooters = HEA" ..... lynn.

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

im not going to bother to find any of these, see: im too lazy

all in all i still liked some points when both of them were acting normal. which is why its a 3. but i feel like this is leaning towards a hate review but yeah idk i cant actually pin point parts that i remember liking- also the ending??? what was that? it made no sense to me.

[showtoonzfan]

Just want to preface this by saying i love ur analysis sm- u put my exact thoughts into words when i cant verbalise whats wrong with a particular writing decision 🥲🥲

Anyway, smth ive noticed is how... little time vivzie actually spends on writing or characterizing or fleshing out her characters.

Which has to be the weirdest thing so far bc every writer and artist ive met agree that its the best part of making an oc! Its so fun to think of backstories and tie that into their current personality and generally just figuring out random details to get to know your characters!

Like, my ocs are my best friends, i know everything abt them from their trauma and childhoods, to their favourite food and music.

But time and time again she proves that her characters are at best acquaintances... the fandom fleshes out the characters so well and with so much love and care and thought that vivzie herself cant do and its just sad.

Not even mentioning the hundreds of retcons and how characters will just change personality randomly or act out of character which results in the work feeling like a fanfic of itself. (Ironic considering some fanfics have better and more consistent characterisation)

It feels like shes making it up as she goes, instead of having an actual plan. Just shoving random ideas she likes or picks up from the much more creative fandom into the 2 shows without actually stopping and thinking abt the consequences or implications.

Theres so many decisions shes made that irk me so bad... the ideas individually have potential but they either dont fit the show or have to make huge retcons and result in the plot not making any sense.

Also, ngl but she has the worst case of tell dont show ive ever seen my god 😭😭 like... you realise you have to show things instead of just fucking singing it or having a character say it??? Or is that another thing that the fandom has to do so they can convince themselves that the show has good characters??

Atp idk how to salvage the show... i keep finding more and more plotholes and unless i literally turn my brain off and only focus on haha funny dick joke or pwetty colors, these questions keep popping into my head making it a painful unenjoyable experience.

Again, if the fandom has to justify your bad nonsensical hypocritical worldbuilding then you failed. Massively.

Anyway im very sleepy rn just wanted to rant a bit bc im a writer and artist myself and it pisses me off how someone gets their show on the air and still doesnt care abt putting in effort into their plot or characters beyond aesthetics and random ideas that dont go well together...

You’re speaking facts! And it’s honestly like..kinda funny too that people who have their own OC’s can flesh them out and deep dive into their arcs/backstories ect, yet a professional showrunner who’s had these characters for YEARS can’t even give the majority of her characters flaws or quirks, or even consistency, same goes for Helluva Boss.

Viv is a really good example at letting inspired writers know what not to do when making a story and characters so at least they have that lol.

[dilucsfav]

have you ever made a fanfic of the reader being a dom to people who are least expected to be a sub, example is dottore since people think he's a dom or even zhongli?

NO IVE ACTUALLY NOT REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?? well i have but never acted on such deed (no shame in the sinning game)

I had lots of fun with this! ive never written for some of these characters before so this was a challenge :) PLEASE TELL ME IF YALL WANT A FEMALE VERSION, THERE ARE SO MANY DOMMY MOMMY CHARACTERS I COULD WRITE ABT

also,,, should i do this with very sub/switch genshin men, except them being dom to the reader instead?? like for example kaeya, tighnari, xiao, childe, scara YES SCARA IS A FUCKING SWITCH DONT EVEN ARUGE WITH ME

idk y’all should let me know anyways here’s your guys’ meal of men tonight

dom reader x genshin men hcs & scenarios (ft. dottore, zhongli, cyno, alhaitham, diluc, dain, ayato)

warning(s): LOTS of nsfw,,, actually mainly that tbh LMFAO

Dottore

at first, he'd only let you toy w/ him cuz he thought it was cute and he could easily tease you about it later

but shocker... you actually end up flustering him in the process. dummy fooled himself tbh

actually he was quite surprised that you were able to suade him with your words and body language

"Oh, doctor... don't keep me waiting...!" you'd moan and cry, grab his shirt collar and yank him to your lips, teasing his throat with your thumb and giving his body glances

made his little act crack SO fast

you'd easily get some neck kisses in while he's dazed, his flustered face staring ahead as his hands hesitate to wrap around your pretty hips

bro is high key into biting?? like definitely would allow you to squeeze a hickey or 2 in

oh, youre a big sweet talker?? good, use that to your advantage cuz you could REALLY tease this harbinger through facial expressions and super good fucking persuasive language

^^the tone of your voice... mhm that's what makes him crack

his throat between your fingers and a smirk on your lips as you kiss the tall, flustered man. literally he doesnt know what to do LMAO

HE'D COVER IT UP TOO LMAO CUZ BEING VULNUERABLE IS TOO EMBARASSING FOR THIS DICK FACE

every time you try to bring it up he'd instantly deny his reaction

^^"I was not flustered. I was just allowing you to have some fun."

dw doctor daddy, we all know ur a fucking dirty lier

call him a good boy, see what he does

Zhongli

yeah so- this man probably folds so easily over you

spoiling this big baby with kisses will result in his blushing mess of a face. trust me.

"My dear Zhongli, hush. Please let me do this for you."

^^barely takes any begging from your part. he'd allow you to spoil him any day

secretly just loves it but shh you dont know that <3

every kiss and peck and hhhhh will just make his blush grow

bonus points if you include inappropriate touching

"im the geo archon" this, "im rex lapis" that...... but how about we talk about his moans when you pull his fucking hair?

(or the crack in his voice when he's begging you to do the nasty w/ him)

^^ or his whimpers when you give him hickies?? he'd ABSOLUTELY be into marking, and you cant change my whore ass mind

stop cuz when you fluster him he instantly becomes so submissive its literally so funny

he would literally convince you with his fucking noises HES SO VOCAL JUST LIKE ITTO

(actually now that i think about it, the only geo character that wouldnt be vocal would be albedo? god hes so fucking hot i need to write for him soon

you being all cute n shit is enough for his breath to be taken away. hes so so in love w/ you hhhhhhhhhh

Cyno

cyno is literally so fucking daddy he makes me-

your actions would fluster him. i dont think he'd ever admit it, or be super vocal about liking it, but he'll never try to stop you (cyno is such a manwhore i'd fuck him so fast yall dont even try me)

yall ever thought about cyno's STRONG love for riding? no? hahah,,,.............

well i fucking have.

^^he would just lay back and let you ride him omfg me next pls

^^...perhaps small thumb rubs into the side of your thigh to encourage you to keep going. only if youre lucky ofc gotta be grateful

"Ah, Cyno... gonna be a good boy for me and let me f-fuck you? Hm, mm?"

phew the reader is kinda hot idk, kinda want them to dominate me instead of cyno

OMG STOP THIS ISNT NSFW OR ANYTHING BUT HE'D GET SO FLUSTERED N HAPPY IF YOU LAUGH AT HIS SHITTY FUCKING JOKES. HE'D BLUSH AND GET ALL NERVOUS AND HAPPY HELP

(this is random, has nothing to do with the fucking hcs, but yall seen that tighnari x cyno nsfw drawing on twitter where kaveh spends the night w/ them and tighnari is riding cynos dick with kaveh trying to sleep next to them? and kaveh is like "i wanna go home..." no? just me? k.)

would probably get flustered if you two are making out and you use tongue. idk cynos a little silly. definitely weird ass would let you spit and lick all over him and he’d thank you, what a manwhore

Alhaitham

who wouldve ever imagined a submissive haitham? not me for sure

he'd literally gasp when youre being dominant and teasing his pretty cock

chokes on his words. he'd probably let you choke him with a necklace, collar, or just something around his neck that you could pull

oh you thought i was joking? no.

"be a good boy, now, Haitham. only good boys get rewards. Do you think you deserve it?"

^^as you’re pulling the bidings against his neck

ok personally alhaitham isnt my type, but if ur taking submissive alhaitham...?... i may. MAY. SLIGHTLY jog for him

jokes on him, you'd get a such a rise and pleasure from his submissive ass

unfortunately... we have yet another victim of the big tiddy game. he'd totally want you to touch all over his man titties

^^not even just the boobs, he turns into an absolute slut when you praise his body

trace your fingers all over his abs and watch him get off so fast LMAO

when i die, i hope i dont get to the gates of heaven and get dragged down to hell cuz i like writing about silly little submissive men getting hard

I FEEL LIKE HE ALSO JUST WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO?? SO WHILE YOURE DOING YOUR THING N SHIT HE’D KINDA JUST STARE AT YOU? flustered haitham at a loss for words, how cute 💔💔

hear me out hear me out. he’d praise you sm but in like a “please keep going im gonna cum” submissive type of way? you know what i mean?

ngh imagine his face getting all pathetic and weak god ngh im no slut for alhaitham but god

Diluc

I LOVE YOU DILUC, PLEASE LET ME CALL YOU MY GOOD BOY AND MY DARKNIGHT HERO AND ALL THAT CORNY SHIT

anyways

i rarely see any sub diluc fics i need to fix that soon BUT ANYWAYS

when hes being bossed around by you he'd become such a whore but in such a respectful way

HE'D ABSOLUTELY SAY "yes sir/ma'am" when youre the dom GOODDDKDKDD

he' take your wrists whilst he’s on his knees, staring up at you, waiting patiently for you to command him

im drooling as im writing these for diluc btw btw

he's not really used to such attitude but he wont question it in the moment CUZ HE LOVES THE ATTENTION

hear me out, HEAR ME OUT.

^^^ ….ive always headcanoned this, but diluc is definitely NOT a dirty talker (i strongly believe this fight me) or tbh i don’t think he’s that good of a talker during sex either way

^^^ but hear me out. imagine he’s like fucking you, but your fingers are holding the back of his ponytail to keep his face jerked forward, where your lips are just touching his ear lobe while you praise him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear?

ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING ARE YOU HEARING ME OUT, DONT TELL ME HE WOULDNT FOLD AND GET FLUSTERED FROM PRAISE

“Mmm, oh s-so good for me! Keep it going, ahh, just like that. That’s my Diluc.”

drooling sweating crying sobbing and

i think he’d totally be down bad for some soft dom… like you praising him, commanding him and being rough with him, but at the same time so lovingly and gently?? yes pls hes totally down

Dainsleif

y’all dain simps are some other type of down bad fr (that’s a good thing i promise)

absolutely another victim of loving riding. absolutely. HE’D BE A BOTTOM SO FAST IF THAT MEANT HE WAS ABOUT TO BE RODE FR

dain would whimper. im literally so right

this has nothing to do with him being submissive but why the hell would he sweat so fucking much during sex? idk i love dain but he looks so musty IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE SAID

not trying to dain slander im sorry im just nervous ive never written for him b4💔💔

call him a bad boy and naughty and tease him just a bit and he’ll fold

honestly i think teasing him just would make him so antsy, so on edge, so desperate and impatient, he would just get all whiney and flustered and such a manwhore

HES THE FUCKING DEFINITION OF MANWHORE LETS BE HONEST HERE

push him against the mattress, maybe even yank his hair a little and tell him he’s a piece of shit that needs to beg for attention and to be kissed by your gorgeous lips

stop if you gave him a blowjob and tease him until he can’t take it just imagine tears staining his cheeks while he’s begging you to give him a break

HE WOULD CALL YOU MOMMY/DADDY. HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD YOU LITERALLY CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND IDFC

he’d curse from overstimulation, prolly screaming “shit” 80 million times and “fuck” every time you chuckle or smirk at his desperate ass

“Oh, you want me to stop? When you begged and pleaded me to touch you badly, Dain?”

^^ i can imagine you listened and stopped, but then he’d get sad and beg for it again LMAO

such a mess for you and wouldn’t try hiding it tbh

Ayato

okay im actually so excited to write for him, ive never written for ayato but i’m not really into ayato im sorry guys (i like his sister though)

It kinda startled him a bit when your fingers grazed his chest and you pinned him against a wall—

would actually kinda fight it at first?? but he also wouldn’t after a while cuz he looks down on everybody and thinks he’s better than everybody else LMFAO live laugh love ayato

anyways,,, when you’ve got him between your fingertips, instantly you become royalty to him.

you are called either ma’am/sir, or you’re called my lady/prince/your majesty

^^or some shit like that idfk ayato’s fucking wild as hell

hear me out… ayato’s absolutely, 100%, definitely, into sucking your fingers

just imagine you’re going to town on his dick and you shove your fingers down his throat to make him stop crying so fucking loud

god and he’s totally into it pls— sucking on your fingers so good so that he’s quiet just for you🙏

“Hush up, Ayato. You don’t want Thoma to hear you when you’re this vulnerable to me, do you?”

bro would gag and cry and grip your body and and

he’d so rough, dirty, submissive, but just like diluc, in a respectful way

imagine brushing your thumb on his beauty marks and the little moles he has— his heart would skip a beat

dw, you and ayato wouldn’t have to worry abt bothering anybody cuz im fucking thoma in the next room

[xxlady-lunaxx]

your fav kamado siblings and giyuu anon here! ill sign off w a purple heart from now on haha 💜

i have another request! setting and context up to you, just giving you some tags!

hurt/comfort (giyuu gets the comfort), fluff, nightmares, literal sleeping together! :) im sorry cant stop thinking about those three 💜

yaay ! ooh okay, purple anon then <3 (i took so long to write this that i js realized it prolly seemed random to any1 else that youre 💜 anon 😭 IM SORRY) it's nice to see you again :D and of course :O i'll do my best cw! nightmares?? idk just a little panicky at the beginning featuring giyuu and his forcefully adopted siblings, and no particular timeline lmfao... also this is short argh

It must be strange for a Hashira to get nightmares. But then again, they had all faced so many horrors, it would be even more pecuilar if they didn't experience them. Even so, Giyuu felt childish. Waking up in a pool of cold sweat, mind racing with the flashes of blood and deattached limbs strewn about. His chest heaved as he desperately drew in air, trying to catch his breath. He pressed a hand to his fast-beating heart, pushing gently, trying to control it. He hated it. He hated the nights when he was given a break from his duties to rest. It seemed to always end up like this.

As he slowly lowered himself back down, his dream came back to him in full force and replayed in his mind, no matter how much he tried to force it away. Panic rose in him again and he shot back up, almost toppling out of the bed, his arm hitting the wooden floor loudly. He flinched, though he was glad for it as it distracted his thoughts from his dream and he focused on making sure he hadn't broken his wrist (which, of course, he hadn't, but it was a better thought than the ones that threatened to take over).

There was a pattering of footsteps and he tensed, hand straying to the katana that sat by his futon. Then Tanjiro and Nezuko entered the room and he relaxed slightly. He had nearly forgotten.

They were staying over at his house tonight, having been too far from any Wisteria Houses after Tanjiro's mission. They must've heard Giyuu's distress because now they were all bunched up under his blanket, snuggling closer to him. Giyuu decided to let them stay, finding the warmth of their presence comforting.

"Are you okay, Giyuu-san?" Tanjiro asked quietly, after everyone had adjusted.

Giyuu nodded slowly. "Ye-ep," he mumbled, internally slapping himself at the crack in his voice.

"We heard you fall, or something, and got worried. Also it was dreadfully cold alone," Tanjiro hummed, scooting closer and wrapping his arms tightly around Giyuu without a care in the world.

Momentarily, Giyuu tensed, unsure how to take this sudden bit of affection. Yes, they had abruptly slipped into his bed, but he wasn't used to this, it had been so long. He didn't even realize he was crying until Nezuko's sillhouette appeared above him as she gazed at him, eyes tense with worry and scrubbing at his cheeks with the sleeve of her kimono. Giyuu flushed, embarrassed. In his shock, he must've let down his guard. God, he had to pull himself together!

Tanjiro, noticing now, tightened the embrace, burying his head in Giyuu's chest. "Don't cry, Giyuu-san. Do you want me to sing you a song? I used to sing lullabies for my younger siblings," he said, his words muffled by fabric.

Giyuu gave a start. A lullaby? "No... No, I'm okay," he said, voice thick. He cleared his throat several times, tugging Nezuko back down and wrapping and arm around her almost protectively. "It's okay."

Tanjiro's head popped back up to look at him. "You sure? It's not bothering us, if that's what-"

"No," Giyuu repeated, nudging him back down. "I'm fine. I'm sorry."

Tanjiro frowned slightly but settled back under the covers. "Okay. Did something happen earlier? Or did you just hit something?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

"I had a... dream. And I sat up too quickly and... yeah," Giyuu said, trailing off. He didn't really want Tanjiro to know him in his weak moments. This was embarrassing enough.

"Was it a nightmare?" Tanjiro asked.

Giyuu hesitated before answering. Tanjiro didn't sound mocking, at least. Well, yeah, he was Tanjiro... but still. "You can call it that, I suppose," he mumbled, tucking his chin down to his chest.

Nezuko, who had fallen asleep at some point, nuzzled closer, her form shrinking slightly and fitting into Giyuu's arm like a little bundle. A smile softened Giyuu's lips, though nobody could see it, and he held her close, wishing he had met the Kamados in any other circumstance.

"It's okay to have nightmares," Tanjiro said quietly, as if sensing Giyuu's reluctance. "I have them too, sometimes. Everyone has them and being a Demon Slayer basically guarantees nightmares—it's like it comes as part of the job. So don't feel bad!"

Giyuu mulled on this. It was probably true. Nevertheless, he still felt like shit about it. If he was a so-called Hashira, shouldn't he be able to fend off something as stupid as nightmares?

"Okay," he said anyway, wanting to please Tanjiro. he paused, a thought occurring to him. "How often do you have them?"

Tanjiro shifted, not answering for a minute. "It's not really... consistent? They just come and go," he said quietly, reaching over Giyuu to cup Nezuko's hand in his own.

"Oh." Giyuu glanced down. Tanjiro's eyes were closed but he was still awake, slowly tilting to the edge of sleep. "If you... want to talk about them? You can come to me. If you want."

Tanjiro's eyes opened by a breath and he smiled at Giyuu's vague direction. "Thank you, Giyuu-san. You can talk to me too. About anything," he murmured, closing his eyes again.

Giyuu lifted his hand, running it through Tanjiro's short hair. "Okay," he said again, closing his own eyes and resting back against the pillow.

Their quiet breaths became the only sound in the tranquility of the room, slowly pacing into sleep. This would become almost a habit, talking quietly to one another when Tanjiro visited until the conversation lulled into a gentle slumber—the warmth of other presence comforting them until they could finally relax.

I'm so bad at endings, it's not even funny anymore

[nonexistent-introvert]

Fondness

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Content: fluff, idiots in love, some?jealousy, confessions.

A/N: I figured I have been writing too much angst so..fun fact: Buckley is an actual dog that can be found in the TLOU games so there you go.

SIDE NOTE: IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW DOGS CANT EAT GRAPES 😓😭 MY BAD

    “Can I ask you a question?” Joel was rubbing his neck, his eyes wandering the small diner that Jackson has managed to set up. “Spit it out already.” You answered, taking another bite of the pancakes on your plate. Joel covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes gauging you for a reaction that he himself didn’t know for what reason. He inhaled, forcing himself to blurt out the words before he just loses the courage to bring it up again. 

    “How do you know if you like someone?” You spluttered upon hearing his words. He instinctively pushed the latte you had ordered towards you. You glanced up at him as you took sips of your latte, wondering if Joel was serious. There was no hint of a smile or any form of humour that would have made his previous question seem like a joke. “Uh.. umm.” Your mind was blank, having absolutely zero answers. You furrowed your eyebrows at him, “You’re the one who was married.” You pointed out to him. Joel let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding. “I just want an opinion.” You gave him a judgemental look, absent-mindedly cutting your pancakes into bite-sized portions. “Uh… I-” There were so many words but yet nothing seemed to make sense. It was embarrassing to admit that you practically had zero experiences when it comes to anything romantic. “I really don’t know what to say.” You admitted. “People tend to say things like you would just know. But I don’t think I ever experienced it.” You shrugged. How would you know something you never experienced, how would you meet someone and just think that they are a good fit for you? This concept never made sense to the logical part of you. 

   Joel’s shoulders deflated ever so slightly as he weighed your answer in his mind. A silence fell as Joel occupied himself with his thoughts while you focused on the food before you, giving yourself some time to ponder his question.  

   “I guess when you think of someone all the time. You search for them in crowds and subconsciously remember every detail about them.” You broke the silence. Joel looked at you, still mindlessly taking bites of your pancake. “Huh.” He merely grunted. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him. It was one of your greatest complaints about him, Joel wasn’t one for words, preferring to answer with random sounds instead of actual words. When you first met him through patrol you had thought he hated you because of that. Thought that he didn’t want anything to do with you until you brought up the issue with Tommy who reassured you that his stoic brother has always been like this. 

   “You’re so boring, Joel.” You sighed exasperatedly when he answered another one of your remarks with a hum. Those words finally seemed to snap him out of his daze. He merely blinked at you, an ignorant look on his face. He let out a small “What?”, taken aback at your sudden comment. “It’s a conversation, Joel! You’re supposed to engage in it not reply to me with sounds. I thought you hated me when we first met because of that.” You admitted it was probably his first time hearing about this. If Tommy didn’t tell him first. He let out a chuckle, “I am not boring.” He defended, he knows you well enough to know when you truly mean your insults. “I can literally predict your responses.” You challenged. He raised his eyebrows, “O-“ “Ok.” You finished his word for him. It was your turn to look smug, you looked at him and how he slowly realised that he had just proven your point. 

   “I guess I am boring. Sorry for that.” Joel admitted with a guilty smile. “I’ll- I’ll try not to.” He promised. You merely shook your head at him. “What brought about the sudden question? You have someone in mind?” Joel smirked, “if I do?” You shrugged at him, “You can spill it. Or you can just keep it to yourself. I don’t really care.” 

   A lie. Of course you cared. 

   Joel drummed his fingers against the surface of the table. He contemplated ordering another cup of coffee but he doubted it would help his nerves. “Well I can’t stop thinking of her. I search for her in crowds. I leave my house at 10am everyday when I don’t have patrol hoping i would catch a glance of her when she passes by my porch when she takes her morning walks.” You let out a sigh, “Joel, you were once married. I haven’t even caught feelings for anyone since I was 16 and even I can tell just based of your words that you’re head over heels.” You cut him off, maybe deep down you didn’t want to hear it. Joel laughed, “Since you were 16? That’s decades ago. Even before the world turned to shit.” “I didn’t have a life ok? Everyone just seemed so childish.. and well I had better things to do then pursue a relationship.” You kicked him under the table. He simply chuckled, “You're right. Those boys didn’t deserve you anyways.” You turned your gaze away from him as you felt your cheeks heat up. Joel may be laughing, but your words made his body tense ever so slightly. Reading between the lines, what if it really meant that you didn’t have romantic feelings for anyone up till now? Then was he a fool for wanting to put this friendship on the line because he got greedy? 

   “So are you going to tell me who it is… or are we just going to move on.” You pursued but still gave him enough space to back out. Joel hummed, intertwining his hands as he casually cracked his knuckles and stretched. Trying his best to act as nonchalant as possible.

   “It’s-“

   “Joel!” Both your eyes turned to the person who had just interrupted the most crucial point of the conversation. “Oh, Esther. Hey.” Joel greeted while you nodded at her in acknowledgment. Her hands immediately fell into his shoulders casually. You shuffled in your seat uncomfortably, searching the crowd in the diner for a reason to slip away. 

  “Thanks for last night. It’s been a while since-“ It was childish but you had forced yourself to stop eavesdropping by forcing an annoying tune into your head. It wasn’t your place to know what happened between them last night. Although you felt idiotic for not catching on earlier. Esther always carried a torch for Joel, you had only realised when you overhead people gossiping about them. You just never expected Joel to reciprocate her feelings. 

   You cleared your throat, “Here take a seat. I was just leaving anyways.” You quickly stood up and gestured to the seat and left before anyone else could say anything. You had to get out, had to give yourself time to process the information as you maneuver your way through the morning crowd. 

   “Sorry, another time alright?” Joel quickly excused himself from the table. Not caring how bad it looked from an outsider’s perspective. Joel ran out of the diner, running his hands through his hair as his eyes searched for you. When Joel spotted you again, he heaved a sigh of relief. You were sitting by Buckley’s side while leaning against a tree. Buckley is Jackson’s supposed guard dog but being the friendly cheerful dog he is, he never seemed quite suitable for that job. So instead, Buckley roams the streets of Jackson, entertaining the children and accompanying most of the residents. In return, he gets treats and pats. 

      “I wasn’t supposed to feel that way.. I was supposed to be happy for him and tease him after.” You ranted softly to Buckley who was laying his head in your lap. Buckley merely whimpered in response as you continued to slowly massage the spot behind his ears. “You plannin’ on replacing me with Buckley?” The sound of Joel’s voice made your face turn red ever so slightly, wondering if he heard your sorry rant to Buckley. “Aren’t you-um... With Esther?” You questioned. “I’m with you.” Joel’s gaze punctured right through you. “Why did you leave?” His gaze softened, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown. Buckley looked up at Joel, an exasperated look on his face. As though even he thought that Joel was an idiot. 

   “I just thought that you would rather..spend your time with her.” Joel scoffed. He stared at you his brown eyes carried a hint of disappointment at your response. He unfolded his arms from his chest. 

   “I don't know what I have to do for you to understand that…” Joel moved closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours. “I will choose you every time. It will always be you.” Your breath hitched in your throat. Joel and your relationship had always been complicated. Close friends were what you told most people, yet you turned up as his date on multiple occasions. You lived in the same house as him, in his spare room. The spare room he wanted to turn into his workshop but put off that idea because he hoped that you would continue staying with him. The both of you were practically partners in everything except when it comes to partners in a relationship. 

   Your eyes searched desperately for a hint of his emotions. Unsure if he meant what he’s saying to you in that specific way or was it just a passing comment. Joel sighed at your wandering eyes, he knew that you were trying to decipher if he meant it. He scratched the back of his neck, “Close friends?” He scoffed again at himself. 

   “I can never see you as just a friend because I see my future with you.” Joel cringed every so slightly at his own words. Did his words even make sense? Hell, he really should have taken the time to improve his literature if he knew he was going to pull some abstract philosophical sentence when he is confessing to you. You stared at him blankly, unsure of how to react despite knowing exactly how you felt for him. “I- I just mean- I want to be with you forever, I want to be with you till the end of time, till our hair turns white, and when I finally can laugh at your white hair as retribution for how you always tease me for mine.” Joel rambled, he knew he was. His heart lightened when he heard the sound of your chuckle at his last comment. 

    “I would like to too.” You admitted, a blush tinting your cheeks. 

    Joel doubted he had ever pulled someone into his arms in such record timing before. In a split second, before your mind could even comprehend it, his arms were on your hips and his lips were on yours.     It felt like the beginning of a new chapter. 

 —---------------------------------------------------------

    “Goddamn boy..” Tommy stood from a distance, watching everything unfold. His hands ruffled through the fur on Buckley’s head. Buckley had run into the stables that Tommy was in and dragged him here. Just in time for him to witness Joel finally making his move on you. “This really is some treasure you brought me.” He whistled, laughing a little as he rewarded Buckley with some oranges he had just picked up from the greenhouse.

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

[take-me-home-crabapple-cove]

hi im ovulating so instead of writing my fanfic, here's some dirty Hawkeye thoughts instead.

NSFW under cut.

also plz be nice to me i am literally paranoid of being percieved (i want to be a lurker but i have too many thoughts). ive never posted anything like this before so if you don't like, keep on scrollin' baby.

● holds ur head during sex so you literally have to keep your eyes on him or just kiss him.

● talks the whole time even if hes just a blabbering mess talkin nonsense. "mmph - that's – fuck....ohhhh shit" "what even – are you human? my god" "someones enjoying themself"

● "look at me, darling"

● HEAVY on eye-contact. he wants to watch whatever pretty little expression comes over your features.

● we know hes a biter, now youve got his teeth imprinted on ur neck, which he pretends he doesnt feel smug about.

● you take over?? mf is a whimpery little mess in seconds. esp if you go straight to suck his dick. words??? gone. just heavy pants and desperate hands.

● his hair is the perfect handle and his lap's the perfect saddle. save a horse, ride a surgeon, yanno?

● kiss his stomach and it's absolutely over for him. immediate nut. he's got very sensitive skin.

● period sex?? "I'm always covered in everyone elses blood, let me have some of yours too, hmm?"

● bite his ears. neck. mouth. just bite this mf he likes it

● he knows his hands are talented, and he will use them to make you fall apart and then act all smug.

● don't even get me started on the nose. nudging ur clit (if u got one). teasing ur hole. omg. i NEED him.

● main focus is that everyone is having a good time, and will make stupid jokes if you get nervous. or even if you don't, he will anyway.

● grab his neck. watch those pretty eyes dilate and breath catch in his throat as you squeeze lightly, just to be a tease.

● mans is the biggest tease. will hit on you all day until ur all hot n bothered, and hes nothing but a nonchalant ass about it when you confront him.

● grab him by the collar of his shirt. manhandle this mf (not too rough, he's babygirl, remember); throw him on the bed and pin his hands above his head. he's putty

● cums when he eats u out. not even gonna apologise, he's got an oral fixation. he talks too much, but he knows exactly what hes doing, don't fret.

● strip poker. i cant get this one out of my head. wandering eyes. growing tension. flirty banter. hands that grasp the edge of the table. tense muscles. it's still platonic, right? it's just a game, right?

[paingoes]

Questions for any/all/however many of your OCs because I'm bored and curious.

How have they changed throughout their development? (I don't mean in-character --- like how do they differ now from the previous versions? How are they different now from the very first time you thought of them?)

How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

ooooo this is so much fun thank you for sending!!! okay!!!

1.) How have they changed throughout their development?

i wanna say that delta has been pretty watertight since inception. the story was created with him in mind. honestly i didnt always know where the plot was going and a lot of that was improvised, but his character and the way he reacts to things are fundamentally what holds the whole thing together. living weapon-whistle blower dichotomy was always there. thats my boy :)

paris and lorelai were both like. they invited themselves in and havent left basically id say that was their effect on the plot. ive said this a lot but the early paris characterization is kinda weak, he was just meant to be a kind of controlling and cruel whumper. and he was always supposed to be close to delta in age. that was basically it. i feel like the first time i really "got" him was when i wrote him in Moonshine blacked out and sobbing on the floor. and even now when i reread it im like. Oh there he is.

lorelai i guess ive also had her characterization down for a while. she has a good heart and despite her sheltered upbringing she has a very strong revolutionary spirit! shes kind of an idealist and she has a really rigid moral sense which is a good contrast to paris's ability to justify literally anything.

i planned to write rubies before crash out or to have crash out be like. a side story to rubies. but i remember the exact moment i realized when i wanted to do with paris and lorelai and it hit me in the head really hard. i was like. they neeeeeed to do fear and loathing in las vegas.

2.) How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

gonna hold my tongue on this one because the roleswap/princess delta AU is coming!!!!! no spoilers hehehehe

3.) What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

hmmmm. i feel like delta would really try to avoid talking about times where he was like. gleefully and proudly complicit in hurting and destroying other people. "glee" is definitely a strong word but he takes pride in his work and he knows hes the fucking best at it. he really enjoys the dopamine rush of hitting targets on a purely mechanical level and he enjoyed being The Favorite at the institute. hes knows its wrong now but at the time? he lived off the validation.

one thing lorelai would never tell anyone is that she thinks the living weapon thing was hot.

lorelai: omg poor delta :(((( thats so sad lorelai: it shouldve been me

while lorelai is pretty morally upright she defintiely has a thing about violence and control CTRL. lorelai is a foil to paris but she is a parallel to delta and i think she also really really wants to feel useful in the same way he can be. this doesnt mean shes okay with what paris did to him AT ALL but she is very. captivated by the concept to say the least.

4.) What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

i cant think of anything tbh! lorelai is mostly an open book and she says what she's thinking. if delta felt strongly enough about anything to confide in someone, and he felt safe to do so, i think he'd cave to that too. i feel like i should have an answer here for paris because he's definitely in the business of "i can't admit this even to myself" but i think if he really wanted to say something he would just say it. i dont think any of them are really good at keeping secrets.

5.) What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

paris thinks of thales, which is silly. it's not like he ever spent that much time there.

loreali thinks of absalom! she loves her home and its kind of incredible she ever left. she made a big sacrifice doing it and she doesnt regret it but she does get homesick a lot.

delta has no immediate associations and that is something that definitely eats at him. minor spoilers for rubies i guess but he will eventually come to associate Galatea -- and especially Levon -- with home.

6.) Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

i think it would be funny here to say lorelai's family is southern baptist. delta was raised atheist and in fact i think Martino was probably a total snob about it and made him read Space Richard Dawkins. none of them are particularly spiritual but paris and lorelai are both weirdly superstitious. paris believes in the afterlife.

destroyer does not have good religious lore but i did once canonize Space Catholicism so i could make a dick-sucking joke

[roe-and-memory]

headcanons

hi tumblr ihave like three headcanons to share currently (there will be more soon i just need to see how well theyre taken, do we like headcanons on here??)

(based off of him not having headlights but how i perceive it humanized even though racecars cant have headlights in Real Life) lightning has light sensitivity issues with his vision . he cannot see. the sun is too bright sometimes and if its dark he will trip over one of the floorboards in docs house, no matter how many times hes walked this floor. (hes very prone to tripping Always but it just gets worse when its dark) (he has rips in the knees of every single pair of jeans he owns)

docs old sunglasses have his name lasered into the arm, lightning found them basically untouched in a box in docs garage. he pulls them out and starts using them when its too bright outside and doc has learned to just hand them over whenever lightning shows up like

2. lightning just. doesnt sleep ?? he is 100% an insomniac and his nightmares are to blame. he would rather work himself to exhaustion than willingly sleep at a normal time. cue him spending most nights out in the fields or at the junkyard with mater building things or whatever until mater is the one to be like ok im tired im going to bed and lightning is forced to go back home, climb back through his bedroom window, and stare at the ceiling until he passes out. he hates sleeping because every night, without fail, he has nightmares. vivid nightmares about whatever his brain can think of, and when he does sleep hes basically fighting his sheets for five hours because of these nightmares, and then he wakes up early and goes about his day as if he wasn't at war with literal demons 20 minutes ago.

doc knows about these nightmares, of course he does, he's a light sleeper and lightnings room is just across the hall, he's also completely aware that the kid sneaks out the window every night because, although lightning is quiet around the house, he is not too graceful when hes attempting to climb out the window -- he's fallen into the bush beneath it countless times.

because of this, doc has tried everything to help him with the nightmare issue, from melatonin to getting him to just write down whatever he was dreaming about to show himself it wasnt real, and absolutely none of it worked. in fact, melatonin seemed to make it worse, and doc gave up there.

3. doc wears a silver "wedding" band. he's not married, in fact he's never been interested in having a partner or getting married at all (i dub thee aroace) but when he was younger he was certainly eye candy for girls at the racetrack and they fawned over him like nobodies business. he comes up with the great idea to get a silver ring and lie, he makes up some tragic backstory to tell whenever a woman asks him why he has a ring or who the lucky person is, and it makes them back of pretty quickly. in reality, the ring is made from a small wheel bearing, and smokey made it for him when he asked because he thought it was funny as hell and was like yes sure but pls make it sound ridiculous . and dont ever tell the same story twice. confuse them.

word gets around and he's told multiple different stories so everyone is confused, but if someone questions him he just gives them a Look and they shut up about it.

even after his crash and his inevitable leave from the piston cup and thomasville, along with his change of address, he continued to wear the ring just in case he got recognized or something.. (it was for aesthetic reasons, he loves that ring its just his signature thing now)

ok... thats it for now, is this how things get formatted here??? do we Like this???

[changbinsboobs]

Felix reading was 1/4 of this and it's only PT 1 ? 💀 Girl........

Ik....ik...

Ive thought about this myself actually, I've noticed hyung line almost always serves, but the maknae line always gives me really little to work with, and it often is really really draining. At the beginning when i used to make the readings length as equal as possible it quickly dried me out and over time it really demotivated me bc with some members the words just write themselves. It all flows so effortlessly i literally just need to write (im looking at you changbin and chan). But for others like seungmin or han or even lee know sometimes i literary have to pull the words out of their "mouth" so i have enough material to string together a peasantly paragraph. Felix is also difficult one because even if he gives energy in the readings for me to read from its not rich at all and is very simple and surface level. And if i cant get any depth i can dive in i can't read on much else. Sometimes i really struggle and almost try to get something of my ass so that its not as dry and sparse. I.n is not very colorful in his energy either but at least i get a bit of material to work with. Hyunjins on the middle and lee know is a wild card i never know if he'll just refuse to talk or sit on a coffee with me.

So yeah i feel sad for the ones that look forward to the not so vocal members but thats not something that depends on me. I don't come up with what i write i just use what i get. And fact is i get way more material to work with for some members than others.

And for this one i really felt a bit bad about it cuz that one part is already the length of at least 2 other readings - but im getting so many messages i can't even type fast enough. My changbin readings overall are much longer almost in every reading, I've talked about that, i think ist just because i resonate with his energy the most and because he's very chatty in nature, paired with my interest being the strongest for him, i think that always results in his readings being the longest - that one definitely breaking the record. But im gonna put it that way - my readings overall are pretty long and detailed, and i already have put out MANY readings in a pretty short time and continue to post new ones frequently. So i dont see it as being really unfair because i put lots of effort and energy in EVERYONES readings and do them as detailed as i can & as long as i can. So changbins readings being longer, doesn't take away from other members readings still being long and rich.

So for the people that get annoyed at that - try to look at it that way - you are interested in Han for example - regular readings are half a page. For han I've written 1 page, for changbin 3. instead of getting angry changbin has 3 pages and han "only" one, be happy that you got a reading for han thats half a page longer than what you would usually get.

So yeah all that said, im doing my best with all the guys, and just because some members - or in that case changbin - get longer readings than others im not gonna cut them short just so that some people don't get angry.

Since im seeing many people getting bothered by that i wanted to clear some things up and make like a...statement, of sorts.

[souvenir116]

Fic Writer Interview 🌸

ty for the tag @13834 ❤️❤️

How many works do you have on ao3?

16 with anonymous works included

What’s your total word count?

295k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

vanilla carnations, kiss it better, pick a lane, driving under influence, once i pull this trigger off

Do you respond to comments? Why/ why not?

i usually try to buy sometimes i get behind or wait for a day to answer all together after posting a chap then forget 💔 but i usually try to make time because comments always mean so much to me

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i don't do angst endings normally but maybe mind break of a character starting to want someone that actually has harmed them before? yeah

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

i think it's vanilla carnations there was literally a proposal 😭😭

Do you write crossovers?

no

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I cant remember each one but this one tops all and we talked about it for a couple days w friends

then decided it was better this way 😁

(it was ltrlly just angry sex and Max coming inside Charles before they have to go to the team debrief bcz Charles crashes into Max, kind of deliberately)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i can do all unfortunately 😔 omegaverse, rule 63, [redacted] etc... I was birthing fic after fic for kinkmeme once (now i can't even properly write smut 💔)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no as far as i know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

ppl asked for permission before but I'm not sure if they eventually finished it!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes... w my baby @a-amvryllis but we both didnt have time so it kinda dropped out. and tbh I think there are a few people my writing matches exactly as someone who writes so descriptive and meanless poetic words, but we could always meet in the middle!!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

im going to be rlly honest when i say lestappen is my first ship and probably last other than Justin Bieber and me in 2015 💔

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

idt ill finish that girl Charles fic for the fest... I dont think people liked it also but i decided to use that ending plot in another fic since it would be more fitting lol

What are your writing strengths?

i can write fast when I'm in mood. once i wrote 8k in a day. the words will just flow and ill be so thankful

What are your writing weaknesses?

tbh im not sure? i like my writing and we all have writers block from time to time, but sometimes i wish i had a better vocabulary but also vocab means nothing if you're going to make ppl open dictionaries every 10 word 😭 also paragraph starts. i hate starting them w "charles max max charles a but charles" if you get what i mean so i especially pay attention on it every new paragraph to make the reading easier 😭

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i always add a () for the english version if I'm going to keep the foreign dialogue just a bit, because come on no one needs to switch between tabs on translate/fic, but if its long, then adding a subtle detail about how they keep the convo in that language and writing in italicized is cool. i also will write dutch and french pet names so randomly. i dont care if it sounds bad for native people im not a native for both 💔

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

f1

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

galex. i actually started it but its still a wip with also lestappen and landoscar going on!! so theres no main ship but like.. a sitcom kind of friend group consisting of couples. yup

What's your favourite fic you've written?

because its my first, and i like the scenario so much, brainstorming w many irls, i think its a very good plot- oiptto. alas i had some people telling me the writing is rlly bad which is, cool, it was my first time writing a fic let alone in english. if you ask about writing, even if i wrote vanilla carnations so fast, i think its rlly nice written also @a-amvryllis helped me sooo much about each event and plots (and i do believe it was creative all of them in general) so i would say that.

tagging every author who wants to do that but randomly @a-amvryllis @blueberry-obsessed @bumblewyn @eterniravioli @f1-giuki @fueledbyremembering @lovelylotusf1 @lestappenforever @laura1633 @paint-it-red-and-black @saviour-of-lord in alphabetic order so i won't forget anyone 😭🩷

[mariatesstruther]

I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.

I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?

okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go

i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie

ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves

shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.

i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut

ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay

ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is

okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec

y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man

we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could

point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show

tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”

tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for

and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)

but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love

so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is

again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do

but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE

so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive

and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????

so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY

we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.

(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)

and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming

so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)

AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy

the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too

so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.

i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????

it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda

but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”

WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES

maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to

so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE